I always had the goal of visiting 80 countries by 80 years old. When I was 31, my husband and I made a “halfway goal”—forty countries by 40.
However, once we had kids, our international travel came to a standstill, and for those first few years, we didn’t travel much except for the occasional trip to Mexico. Our kids were young, only 4 and 6 at the time, but when Steve had a work trip scheduled to Brazil, we jumped on the opportunity to travel with him. By the time I was thirty-seven, I was up to 34 countries.
A few months before I turned 40, we made a final sprint, which encompassed visiting three countries in the Caribbean: Trinidad and Tobago, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, and my fortieth country, St. Lucia!
I made it! I was 39 years old with a few months to spare before turning 40, and I had been to my 40th country.
Or so I thought.
Fast forward a few years, and it’s the middle of the night. I can’t sleep, so I get up and start looking over my list of countries I had been to and begin planning where to go next. For some reason, I decided to review the United Nations list of countries to make sure I hadn’t missed any in my count. (There are many different ways to count countries, but we have always used the United Nations list for consistency.)
While checking the list, I realized French Polynesia is considered a territory, NOT a country according to the UN! Whaaaat!! I spent three years trying to reach a goal, and, just now, many years later, I discover that the country I thought was my 40th country was only my 39th. It suddenly hit me: I never actually reached my goal.
I know – 39th, 40th country – what does it matter? And yes, in the scheme of things, it doesn’t. Heck, traveling to 39 or 40 countries is a massive feat in itself. But I had a goal in mind, and I was disappointed I didn’t reach it.
It was such a minute thing to be upset about, especially as I experienced new destinations, new cultures and met fabulous people along the way. But for me, it did matter because I’m goal-driven and a rule follower. I also made such a hoopla I had reached my 40th country; it’s hard to admit my mistake.
When I think back on French Polynesia, it was a place that provided me some phenomenal experiences. It wasn’t a country, but I wouldn’t change a thing. And each country I have traveled to since has also been much more than a number. Though we rushed to get me to that 40th country, what we experienced together was transformative. I was able to take my family to far-off places we hadn’t explored before and some of those memories in those early traveling years with the kids were the absolute best. We immersed ourselves in the culture of those countries and kick-started a love of travel for our kids. We continue to explore every new country as a family and walk away a little bit wiser of the world around us.
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Many people have different travel goals. Many people travel to immerse themselves in the culture of a country. Many people travel to relax and never really leave a resort. Many people country count and many people count countries in different ways. What I have come to realize is that travel is travel however it may look. Even though I have a specific goal to reach, I’m not going to get disappointed if my plans get messed up or sidetracked along the way. I’m seeing the world how I want to and exploring it in a way that makes me happy. And if setting a goal to reach 80 countries by the time I’m 80 will help me explore the world more, I’m going to stick with my plan. And while I will continue to count countries, it’s not just the number that matters to me but the experience.
Side note: I traveled to Nicaragua just a few months after I turned 40 years old, so I suppose I reached my 40th country while I was still 40 years old!
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